BLOG 1_23_22: EMOTIONAL STRIPPER X AC: REGULARS
Emotional Stripper X ANGEL CANDY SERIES: BLOG 2
♡ HOW TO GET + MAINTAIN REGULARS IN THE CLUB ♡ ( AND SETTING BOUNDARIES )
So this blog entry from Emotional Stripper featuring Stripper Venom is allllllll about GETTING & KEEPING regulars in the club while setting your own boundaries and sticking to them! Content was written by both of us in collaboration <3
First, lets start with this:
"What is a regular and why should I care / why is it important to have?"
♕ A regular is someone who will always get dances / spend money on you when they are at the club when you are. Maybe they'll always make it rain on your stage sets, tip you a good amount after dances, get a private room or multiple dances with you every time they see you! Either way, THEY ARE SO IMPORTANT IN THIS INDUSTRY. Why? Because :
- it's guaranteed money ( & depending on the regular, they might make your entire night money wise or even make it mentally better because you're familiar/friendly with each other and it helps shift the energy of the club! )
- depending on the personality type they have, you can ask some of them for stuff (money, gifts) even when you’re not working/ they aren’t seeing you.
- they're great to have during slow seasons!
- having regulars can make it easier to budget and plan your schedule, since you can estimate what you'll be making more accurately
♕ I am all about working smarter not harder, so scouting for regulars is something I was *always* doing in the club. By the end of my time stripping, I had so many regulars that I rarely had to talk to new guys. YOU CAN TOO.
✗ THESE TIPS TODAY ARE WRITTEN FROM THE LOVELY JAMIE ( ONE OF MY FAV PEOPLE EVER AND BASICALLY AN EXPERT OF THE INDUSTRY ) OF ANGEL CANDY AND MYSELF ✗
♡ HOW TO GET A REGULAR ♡
- Ask yourself ( mainly applies if you've been dancing for at least a few months ) "What is my clientele?" If you attract lawyers, doctors, teachers, your exes dad, whatever it may be....look for your clientele out there and try to see where it goes! With certain professions that involve a lot of travel, it's hard to keep that person / type as a regular, so if you find someone that lives in your area - obviously that is preferred & a lot easier for both parties!
2. SHOW THEM PARTS OF YOUR REAL SELF: I know we all learn to keep on our personas, share nothing real, etc. It's okay to let some of your true personality / certain info ( BE SAFE. ) out there. It helps establish trust on both ends, the connection will *actually* be there, and if you two have things in common - it makes it fun! For example: If you both love reading, you can set up a day a week where they get a room with you and you each do a book exchange together and read a few pages together. It also shows them that it isn't 1000000% transactional. YES we love and deserve the money, but it doesn't have to feel transactional for you to both get what you want out of the relationship. THIS TIP ALSO HELPS YOU KEEP YOUR REGULAR ♡
3. EXCHANGE CONTACT INFO WHILE STAYING SAFE: To stay in touch with each other so you can message about your day / etc or just say when you're working, exchange what you are comfortable with. The chances of them showing up when you're working with little to no communication are very slim and usually doesn't work out in the long run. Some ways to keep in touch are:
- Phone apps: Google Voice, Mr. Number, Text Now, etc. ( or literally getting a phone dedicated purely to sex work so giving out a "real" number isn't a problem )
- Work Instagram or work SnapChat if you have them
- OnlyFans as a way to message ( I've personally tried this and I don't like this method as much because it's confusing with all the different usernames and trying to see when you get a notification because it doesn't just ding on each others phones like the others do )
- Save #'s like this: Save their contact name along with notes about them so you recall who they are. For example, “Jack, 6 dances 50 tip, Chiropractor, lives in Hartford, 6y/o daughter” “Tyler, $1k tip VIP Room, owns kitchen refurbish company, likes boxing.” This will also help you when you chat with them- humans are communal creatures, and we love when people remember things about us. Wow them with your “memory”.
4. SHOW THEM WHY THEY SHOULD BE YOUR REGULAR: The most important point here is that people remember how we make them feel over everything else. So, are you able to provide that feeling they can't get enough of? Maybe they want to feel young, or more fun, or more free.
Try to think of it from their perspective. This might sound harsh, but I'm going to try and place you in their head:
☆ "What's special about her in comparison to x,y,z?"
☆ "It's a lot of money. What about you / your services makes it worth it to spend it on you?"
☆ "Why would I care to come in __x a week or month?"
☆ "WHAT AM I GETTING OUT OF THIS?"
Show yourself off. Believe in yourself and your services. Show that you are worth what you are asking for and a million times more! Confidence is KEY baby!
Think about it like this: When you go shopping for anything and the salesperson seems awkward, not that knowledgable about what they're selling, acting desperate or aggressive to just *make* the sale - would you buy from them? Or would you buy from a salesperson at their competitor who is confident, talks about the products benefits, and makes you see why the product can benefit you and make you feel great, and they're selling you without TRYING to sell you. I'd always go towards option #2.
So, dress yourself and do your makeup in ways that make you feel confident while also appealing to the male gaze ( shallow, but important part of this industry ) and decide what the selling point is. You can be as beautiful as you want, but without charm / humor / personality / etc, you will most likely not get a regular if all he thinks about you is that you're beautiful. Point being- what role do they need you to fill? Are you able and willing to do this?
5. SEX APPEAL BABY: Assume that every new man you haven’t spoken to / don’t know the deal about is a potential regular. When on stage, take a moment to smile at everyone you lock eyes with. Gauge their reactions to decide who you have the best chances getting dances/money from. I also was a fan of sensually biting my lower lip a little, and then giving them the sultry doe eyes. I am aware that this language sounds pretty ridiculous- but hey, it works. What man doesn’t want a beautiful girl to smile and bite her lip at him?
6. KNOW WHAT THEY ARE LOOKING FOR: (gets easier with experience!) Some men are looking for a super hottie sex pot, and looks are the most important factor to them. Some men are looking for an ear to listen or a pretty shoulder to cry on, and you’ll make most just letting them vent/talk. Some men are looking to “save” you and fulfill their savior/hero complex. Some are looking to worship you. Some are looking for a “classy” college girl. Some are looking for a “trashy” party girl. Some men LOVE the single mother story and will go out of their way to “help” you and your child/children, for others the thought of their stripper being a mother is a huge turn off for them. YOU MUST KNOW YOUR CUSTOMER, AND CRAFT YOUR STORY BASED ON WHO THEY ARE AND WHAT THEY WANT. Try not to take their wants personally-
♡ HOW TO KEEP YOUR REGULAR ♡
1. MAINTAIN THE RELATIONSHIP: Text, call, schedule! Here are some text examples for you to try out:
- Example text to a crybaby/sulker type: “Hi love! I hope everything is going well with _______ (insert whatever they were venting about) . I loved chatting with you, I’ll be in Weds and Friday and I would love to hang with you some more :)”
- Example text to a party boy type: “Hey handsome, I’ll be at Club XYZ Weds and Fri night, I hope youll come see meee *big doe eyes and tongue out emoji* had so much fun with you, lets do it again?? *hearts emojis*
- Example text to an InTelLeCtUaL guy who is glad to be “helping you out with tuition”: Hey ____ (insert name)! Finally done with midterms/finals/ whatever college thingy you’ve invented *stressed out face emoji* Had such a great time with you and would love to see you.. I’ll be in Weds and Friday night this week, come see me?*insert nerd face emoji and a heart”
☆ important pro tip: If regulars get back to you that they’re coming in, try to find out what time. Stagger them whenever possible, so you’re not dealing with one waiting for too long/ getting mad/jealous. ☆
2. MAKE THEM FEEL SPECIAL / APPRECIATED:
- Remember the things they tell you: job, birthday, favorite things / hobbies, etc.
- Send them a text on their birthday!
- If you have an OnlyFans or sexy pics/vids in general, if they do dances with you and spent a good amount, left a great tip, or you're just in a really generous mood- text them when they leave and send them a free week trial, send some sexy club pics or some nudes! It always got me more dances in the future and also more sales content wise.
- If you had a good time with a customer, he tipped well, etc- tell him! Customers are human and they love to feel appreciated! Let him know you had so much fun and can’t wait to do it again. Don’t forget to offer your “number” so you keep in touch.. Aka, let him know your schedule
3. HAVE FUN: THE MORE POSITIVE ENERGY GOING AROUND = THE MORE POSITIVE ENERGY YOU WILL RECEIVE. Guys want to be around people that are having fun, laughing, and basically the opposite of what they're trying to "get away" from in that moment. They are usually looking for a distraction from their own lives. The more fun you're having, the more money you'll make is so true and still one of my favorite affirmations.
4. MAKE "DATES" IN THE CLUB: Not kidding. I have done this for years and I love doing it! It makes work so much more fun / exciting and both people get to feel special - win win! Usually I'll do this in private rooms because it's a more intimate setting, longer amount of time, and most often more money but I have done this in dances many times too! I'll do the girlfriend experience of having dessert / food / red bulls, whatever it may be and just "be on a 30 min minimum long date" where they get all of my attention and a lot of the time it is dancing but mainly talking! That's also why knowing your customer is a huuuuuge part of maintaining a regular - they literally might just rather talk to you and have something more "real" feeling.
5. GET FAMILIAR WITH WHAT YOU LIKE & DON'T LIKE: Get very familiar with what type of customers you are and are not okay with, and focus on the types that you like. Personally, my top choices were party boys looking for a super hottie (they’re usually fucked up, have money they’re willing to spend because of this, and aren’t very clingy/annoying outside of the club. Downside is that they’re sporadic, not reliable weekly), older men in their late 40s-early 60s looking for “smart” college girls (easy to excuse only being able to see them at the club bc I’m just sooo busy with school, and to ask for money for “school” stuff… ipads, textbooks, tuition, dorm, etc), and young-ish simp-ish guys for whom me sitting on their lap was the most thrilling thing that’d ever happened to them (downside is they’re annoying,/needy, but sooo easy to get money out of). But- I was flexible so long as the money was green. “Savior” complex men were the only ones I couldn't stand and refused to deal with (KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES!)
♡ HOW TO SET BOUNDARIES ♡
A HUGE TOPIC in our industry is what to do when men want to see you outside of the club? At least 80% of regulars end up asking this at some point- to take you out to dinner or hang out in “real life.”
First things first: decide if you are open to that. If so, for how much money, and what experience are you okay with having for that amount of money? If you aren’t open to the idea at all, always! Be! Working! When they inquire about going out or whatever, just reply with “Ill be in Weds and Friday night babbbby would luv to see you then! *tongue out emoji*
1. YOUR TIME IS STILL YOUR TIME: Consider only checking your “work” phone/line at certain intervals so it doesn’t interfere with your private life and time. I had a separate iphone (it is now the Angel Candy phone number, LOL) and left it in a drawer like 90% of the time. If you’re using an app, store it in a folder that’s out of your main screen.
2. YOU DON'T OWE ANYBODY ANYTHING: If they always reply this way ( wanting to see you outside ) and they keep on asking and don’t ever come to the club, block them. They are work. You don’t owe them a reply. If you aren’t getting anything out of them- move on. It seems we are often scared to “lose” them by saying the wrong thing. But here is the thing- it is better to lose them if they’re not paying you. A guy who has spent $1-200 on dances is not worth the mental anguish of being asked out weekly. Clear away the trash and make space for the trophies, baby.
3. IF YOU WANT TO MEET OUTSIDE ( + WHAT TO REMEMBER): If you are open to meeting them outside of work, always seem eager but explain that you can’t because you have to work and you really need the $___ (insert whatever amount you’d be willing go out with them for). I do not agree with just saying this and hoping they catch on- just ask them.
Example: “Hey! I’d love to, but I have some excess expenses this month I’ve been helping my family out with so I was planning to work that night. Maybe you could help me and cover my shift? I know we’d have fun! If that doesn’t work I will be in Tues and Fri and I hope you come see me then :P”
There seems to be a lot of fear about saying the “wrong” thing and “losing” them.
Here is the thing- we are working SMARTER, not HARDER.
You WANT to lose the guys who are looking to make you their girlfriend, text you all the time, ask for pics for free, and take you on dates for free.
5 regulars who adore you, spoil you, and respect you are wayyyyy more valuable than 50 “regulars” who constantly text you, rarely show up at the club, are annoying when they do, and expect an experience they’re supposed to be paying for- for free.
Our work can be very fulfilling when you’re making what you are worth from men who gladly respect you.
emotional stripper ♡ + in collaboration with Angel Candy Shop ♡