The Pareto Principle (also known as the 80/20 rule) states that 80% of outcomes result from 20% of inputs, and vice versa. This can be, and has been, studied and applied in an infinite amount of circumstances.
Some quick examples:
20% of your wardrobe is worn 80% of the time
20% of our phone's apps get 80% of our usage
80% of most companies sales can be attributed to 20% of their products (oh wassup microkinis and everything with diamonds on it, lol)
80% of the love you experience revolves around 20% of the people in your life :)
So what this means is that about 80% of our earnings are due to 20% of our customers or subscribers.
I began paying a lot closer attention to my best, top spending regulars once I learned this. What did they want from me? How could I fulfill that?
While these may seem like strange questions to ask about industry regulars, I believe in working smarter and not harder. I'd rather spend effort keeping someone I *know* spends a lot on me hooked than searching for someone to fill his space.
Now- seduction is an art that takes attention and craftiness. Worrying about archetypes with 80% of clients- the guys who come in, have a beer, and just want to get a few dances- doesn't really make sense. Those lovely, simple customers are easy enough to keep satisfied.
Studying archetypes is very helpful for those WHALE clients who have the power to make your life a whole lot sweeter and easier.
Now while I was in the Industry, I wasn't taking notes and running a psychological study. I just paid attention to what kinds of compliments the men liked, what type of comments they made about me, what type of questions they asked me, what seemed to please or annoy them. I noticed the things they told me about their lives and figured out what was important to them, and how *I* could stay on that list, for the sake of my own benefit.
There are many who will call me manipulative for thinking this way. I am at peace with that. Adult human relationships are not unconditional, most especially in the sex industry. In fact, I'd say I did my customers a service by paying attention to what they actually wanted and giving it to them, as annoying and draining as it could be at times.
Doing this doesn't mean the job was easy- by far! It was simply a case of "the devil you know," if you will. If I know I'm going to have to work hard either way, I'd rather work towards a sure thing than a maybe.
An Archetype is a character type defined by habits, values, and patterns. Simply put, it's a "type." I found that my best customers fit into four of them:
1. The Savior
2. The Mentor
3. The Playboy
4. The Gentleman
I was partial to the Savior and the Playboy. But all of their Money was green. :)
In the next few blogs, I'll go over what I learned and hope this info helps y'all make your BIGGEST bags yet!
Today, let's meet:
He Wants to Feel: Needed, Justified
About Him: Also known as "Captain Save a Hoe," this is a man who believes he and only he can see your humanity. He is certain that you are a sweet, good person who is only working in a place "like this" due circumstances that have crushed your spirit.
He will often pry into why you got into this, and will find your "sob story" attractive. He is the type to romanticize struggle, particularly his own role in alleviating it. He believes himself above “paying for women”-even as he does so- so frames the ways he pays you as “help.”
This type is a sucker for single moms or anyone who reflects his self image of being a caretaker back at him.
How He Sees You: He believes that you are a victim of your circumstances, an innocent baby who would never choose to be here. He tells himself someone as sweet as you could only be here because you HAVE to be. He needs to believe that you are nurturing, selfless, and somewhat naive.
You connect with him by sharing things about your past, your family (can be made up but don’t trip up, keep notes), and your hopes for the future. You fulfill the ”sacred within the profane” role for him.
PROS of the Savior:
Most reliable if you ever need money in a real emergency
Easiest to hook over a long period of time (years even)
Easy to please with messages of gratitude and pics into your “real life.” (Gratitude usually does authentically come naturally if he’s really helping you.)
While he appreciates your beauty, he also compliments your personality a lot
When this type is good natured, his desire to be helpful is authentic. He always either has a provider mindset, or has an insecurity that leads him to only feel valuable when he is being helpful- which makes him one of the less entitled of the client archetypes.
CONS of the Savior:
If he’s single, he will never stop trying to date you IRL. It’s best to find this type who is married (their values make it unlikely they’d leave their family, which makes dealing With them a lot easier for you.)
He will often infantilize you and treat you as if you’re younger/more naive than you are, an act as if you don’t know what’s best for yourself. This is mentally exhausting.
Most likely to pry into your “real” life and lose interest quickly if you don’t oblige (ofc, you can make up a “fake” real life, but that gets exhausting and you need to be sure to take notes to keep your stories straight.)
The worst of those who fit this archetype are controlling, and seek to use the "help" they've given you as a way to forever in debt you to them / control you.
What to Ask Him For: Remember, he believes he's very unique for seeing you as a "real" person- so you want to do everything to keep this image true for him. Part of the fantasy he holds about you is that you are selfless, so frame most of what you ask him for as a necessity and/or something that benefits others besides yourself.
Asking for gifts or money for your kids (if you don't have kids you can pretend, this type loves that) is great. Also, situations that involve "helping" your family members, particularly your mom.
He can also be useful for household stuff- grocery money, amazon gift cards so you can get "some cute stuff for my apartment," and everything related to your car are good. Personally, I had great success asking this type for tickets/ flights/trip money for trips I was taking with my son. Usually, these were real things I was doing. I’d ask 3-4 people, use one set of tickets, sell the rest, and send pics to everyone who bought us tickets. Everybody’s happy, win win.
What to Avoid Asking Him For: Avoid asking this type for luxury goods or anything that seems like you're "spoiled"- he'll feel you've tricked him into believing you're someone you're not. Instead, you can insinuate about these things, i.e. when you see a woman with a Chanel bag at dinner- comment "they're so pretty I hope I can afford one one day *puppy eyes*. This type can surprise you with luxury gifts, but wants to feel like it was his idea.You can ask him for clothes and spa days, but try to only do this on big holidays, like Xmas or your birthday.
Notes: It's helpful to notice which is the archetypes feel "natural" to you, because it'll be easier to fulfill one another's needs this way.
The Savior was my favorite archetype, and the one my longest running regular (8 years on and off LOL) fell under. They have a provider mindset and I grew up seeing men court women with gifts and such and be the breadwinner, so it felt natural to me to let them pay for bills and stuff.
As you read about the archetypes, notice what bells go off related to your own clients to figure out which you enjoy/connect with the easiest.
Part 2 comes out on April 9, and we'll be meeting: The Mentor